"Test number 2!" Peter says it, triumphantly.\n\n"So what's the question?"\n\n"Right. My buddy Jesus here -" Jesus, it should be noted, smells a lot like some pretty potent marijuana.\n\n"Yo."\n\n"My buddy Jesus is going to keep some cash for us. We each start with $20. You give Jesus an amount, he doubles it and gives it to me. I give you Jesus some cash, he doubles it, and gives it to you. How much are you going to give Jesus."\n\n"Are you sure that's Jesus?"\n\nHe eyes you, then grins. "I can get you some wine if you get me water."\n\n"Yes. As confusing as that might be, this is the son of God. So you going to give the full [] or [[nothing]]?"\n\n\n\n
Midway through changing "?" to "YES", error messages start to pop up incessantly. If this were to be what Peter has to deal with on a daily basis, you would believe he might go a little bit crazy.\n\nBut you don't want to deal with this, so you start to get rid of all the errors.\n\n"DID THE SOUL ACCEPT JESUS AS THEIR <html><S>POT</S></html> GOD AND SAVIOUR?"\nYES or NO\n\nAnswering yes to that brings up:\n"ARE YOU SURE IT WAS TO THE GOD, AND NOT THE POT"\nYES or NO\n\nAnswering yes to that just brings up a blank error message.\n\nAfter all that happens a pointed cough behind you leads you to believe that you might be shit out of luck after all of that when you turn and see a rather sharply dressed Asian man.\n\n"[[You're not St. Peter]]" You pointedly say, pretending to not have been touching the computer.\n\n"I was just trying to [[fix the computer]]."
Dying.\n\nIt sucks, obviously. But it's a thing that you just had to do. Obviously you tried to fight it, but it gets everyone eventually.\n\nEven you.\n\nThankfully, in the middle of this weird black space you do have a few options.\n\nThere's a [[doorway]]. You could open it.\n\n<html><img src="http://www.thegateseries.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/doors-20172_640.jpg" width="212" height="320"></html>\n\nOr you can [[sit here]]. Forever.
The hallway is stained with something better left not inspected.\n\nAs you continue down the hallway you find a pack of papers hidden behind a pillar. Looking at them, they seem to say JESU in big block letters.\n\nAs you continue down the hallway a man exits from what looks like an... empty office? \n\nWhen you turn back, that door is gone. The man, however, is still here.\n\n"Who are you? You're not supposed to be here. Didn't you see the sign?"\n\n<html><img src="http://www.thegateseries.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/employeesonly.gif" width="200" height="145"></html> \n\nYou...may have noticed it. \n\nSt. Peter brings you back to the main room with a bit more force than is strictly necessary. "Fine. Well, I don't have all day. What's your [[name]]?"
Those classes you took on standin' around (called "classes" in university) did you well. You stand like a pro.\n\nYou're happy to note that nothing else happens.\n\nThe room has a [[podium]]. A [[staircase]] with a light at the end, another [[door]] and a [[couch]]. Or, if you want, you can [[continue to stand]] around like an idiot.
"I was just trying to fix the computer!"\n\nThe man looks at you, rubs his hand on your shoulder in a way that's probably a little Stranger-Danger-y.\n\nFinally, you back off.\n\n"[[You're not St. Peter]]!" You exclaim, not entirely happy with it.\n\nHe grins, and nods. "Sure, but I can get you through that door. All you have to do is [[give me your soul]]."\n
Before you pop up to the Heaven, you do have one last thing you wanted to check out.\n\nPeter claims he's dating Mary, but Lucifer, she's got her own side to this story. And you need all the gossip you can get before you head on to the [[bright light]].\n\nThankfully, if there's one thing that Lucifer can't resist... it's spreading gossip. \n\n<html><iframe frameborder="0" width="480" height="270" src="http://www.dailymotion.com/embed/video/xv2p1y?logo=on&hideInfos=1"></iframe></html>
"What, I look like I was born yesterday? I am over 2000 years old, kid."\n\n"Wow, that's pretty old. This has got to suck."\n\nHe finally groans, and shakes his head. "Look, kid, I get it, you had a bad life, made bad choices. I repudiated the big guy and you think he'd let me forget that? So tell me your [[real name]], or you can go and hang out with Lucy. In [[Hell]]."\n
Jesus hands both of you a wad of cash, "That's, for the record, not actually worth anything. But here's some good kush. That'll pay your way right into Elysium"\n\n<html><img src="http://www.thegateseries.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/money-95794_640.jpg" width="220" height="320"></html>\n\n"Uh, hey, thanks man." You say, awkwardly thanking Jesus Christ for his kush.\n\nPeter pockets the cash. Smiles. "Okay, so you're a trustworthy person. Not bad. Time for the [[final test]]."
"C'mon, get up. Wake up, princess."\n\nYou think you passed out because after a little while you come to a face that only a very cautious bureaucrat could love.\n\n"Welcome to Heaven. Well, more specifically the Pearly Gates. I, being your ever-present and oh-so-happy gatekeeper, am Peter. Saint Peter...the uh, first."\n\nThough you know you probably shouldn't, you try and peek at the [[evaluation]] Peter seems to be carrying.\n\nAfter a moment you take in a deep breath and notice that, oddly, there's another person in the room. "What's that smell?"\n\nPeter, and the woman, eye each other for a moment.\n\n<html><iframe frameborder="0" width="480" height="270" src="http://www.dailymotion.com/embed/video/xv1jwq?logo=on&hideInfos=1"></iframe></html>\n\nSeemingly, having won the woman, Lucifer, decides to take her leave.\n\nPeter turns back to you. "Hey, what's your [[name]], kid?"\n\n\n\n\n\n
"Good. A comedian. Exactly what I want in Purgatory. You hear that, Big Guy? I only repudiate you three times. These assholes, it's every single day. What kind of respect do I get? None, that's what."\n\nHelpfully you point out that his sheet seems to be unraveling.\n\n"Oh, good Jesus Christ of Latterday Fuckestry. I am Peter, the Rock. A saint that holds keys. What, you think I should look like this?" Peter pulls open a weird curtain. \n\n<html><img src="http://www.thegateseries.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/christ-141677_640.jpg" width="240" height="320"></html>\n\nPeter quickly hides the curtain again.\n\n"Look, Jesus doesn't like those stupid glass things, so we keep them hidden. And to make you souls feel comfortable, we try to keep up with the times, look like you people. And this, this is the thanks I get."\n\nHe takes a calming breath. "Alright, smart mouth, what do you say. You going to tell me your [[name]] so I can get you off my docket, or do I just send you straight to [[Hell]]. Because, personally, that makes things a lot easier for me."\n\nRealizing that Saint Peter is fairly serious, you offer to come back later. "Nope. Two options. Give me your [[name]], or I send you to [[Hell]].
With a spot of brimstone, you suddenly end up right outside of what looks to be Hell.\n\n<html><img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/65/The_Door_to_Hell.jpg/220px-The_Door_to_Hell.jpg"></html>\n\nIt looks... hospitable. Lucy smiles, girlish almost, and breathes it all in deep.\n\n"I do love some sulphur in the morning, don't you? C'mon. Let's get you set up properly. In [[Hell]]."
You know, much as standing has been fun for the last little while; sometimes a nap is the better option.\n\nAnd this couch doesn't seem so bad. You could nap on it. It could hold the secrets to the universe. Or it might just be a couch.\n\nYou can [[nap]], or check what's in the [[cushions]].
The couch is pretty swank.\n\nYou fall asleep in seconds. Only to wake up to a seriously irritated saint slapping your face.\n\nHe scrunches his face and taps at you a bit more.\n\n"Ugh, finally. What does this look like to you, a bus stop?"\n\n"Uh" You add, eloquently.\n\n"Right, it's not. It's time to pass you through. What's your [[name]]. And don't [[lie]] to me. I'll know. Because I'm a saint. In case you forgot."\n\nMaybe because you just woke up, you're feeling extra honest. You pause and finally comment on his askew toga. "For reference, you don't [[look like a saint]]"
Heaven, you gotta admit, is not so bad.\n\nExcept for Cherubs.\n\nCherubs are assholes. You should always punch them.\n\nFor that, and other advice, please <html><s>pay five easy payments of 15.99 in Heaven dollars</s> go and find <a href="http://www.thegateseries.com">more tips</a></html>.\n\nAfter all, Heaven does kind of have a broken system. Sometimes.\n\n<html><iframe frameborder="0" width="480" height="270" src="http://www.dailymotion.com/embed/video/xvv8ms?logo=on&hideInfos=1"></iframe></html>
Bingo. This is the List of all Lists.\n\nIt seems like even thought the bible never mentioned that Peter would be the one at the Gate, he is - and he's doing a terrible job at it. And if the way everything looks here is any indication, he really has no idea how to use a spreadsheet.\n\nYou find your name on the list. Beside it is a question mark, which doesn't seem to be a good thing.\n\nDo you [[change it]] or [[leave it alone]]?\n\nYou can still check out the [[staircase]] with a light at the end, another [[door]] or the weird smelling [[couch]].\n\nThere's a TV in the corner where you can catch up on your [[stories]].
Jesus pounds you on the back.\n\n"Them's the magic words! Welcome, mate!" Jesus leads you up towards the [[bright light]] of Heaven. You turn back, Peter does look a bit sad.\n<html><img src="http://www.thegateseries.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/sky-90990_640.jpg" width="320" height="240"></html>\n\n"What about him?"\n\n"Oh yeah, I always forget Pete. Hey Pete, just this once you wanna come back in?"\n\nPeter looks, for the first time, a little bit excited.\n\n"Do I! Man, I haven't seen [[Mary]] in a...century? Well, it's been a while. C'mon, I'll buy you some mead. I think the Vikings are still making it."\n\nAs Peter, Jesus and you walk in, you think fondly of your life - ah, who cares, you're in Heaven now! Heaven of the constant Viking ragers and mead filled halls.\n\nIt's pretty alright.\n\n
Quickly closing the filthy thing you step back around the podium.\n\nA moment later, a toga-wearing guy wanders in. He holds an [[evaluation]] in his hands.\n\nHe pointedly looks at you. A grimace on his face. It's the type of face that is probably grimacing all the time. He just has a face like that. "So... what's your [[name]]? Might as well make this one quick."
Cowed, you admit your real name.\n\nPeter types on his computer for a bit and finally gets to the good bits.\n\n"Okay. Okay, okay. It's been a while since I saw anyone so in the middle. Years, maybe even a few centuries. It's almost like you went out of your way to be decidedly neutral."\n\nYou, being decidedly neutral, don't respond.\n\n"Well, to see where you fit in all of this I guess I have to go through some of those annoying moral games. Jesus! Game time!"\n\n"What if I don't agree to it?"\n\nPeter, annoyed, looks away and back. "Kid, you really want to go to [[Hell]] that bad, we can skip all the formalities. I'm sure Lucy would welcome you."\n\n"Fine. I'll play your stupid [[game]]. But I won't like it."
"Hah! I knew it!" Peter puts his sword down. \n\nJesus, for the most part, looks a little bummed.\n\n"That's not good, kid. But, you know, Lucy's alright when you get on her good side. So...uh... get on her good side."\n\nPeter shrugs. "Sorry, kid. But to show there's no hard feelings? Here's a bottle of water. Have fun."\n\nPeter snaps his fingers and the [[door to hell]] appears.\n\nLucifer appears, and slaps Peter on the back. Not one to let something go, though, Lucifer rubs it in a little to Peter.\n\n<html><iframe frameborder="0" width="480" height="270" src="http://www.dailymotion.com/embed/video/xv1jwq?logo=on&hideInfos=1"></iframe></html>\n\n
<html><iframe frameborder="0" width="480" height="270" src="http://www.dailymotion.com/embed/video/xv1kxn?logo=on&hideInfos=1"></iframe></html>\n\nThis guy doesn't entirely seem sane, but he's sure excited about killing people. "You're not St. Peter!", you exclaim. Loudly. In a way that your mother certainly told you was not how you behaved. Ever.\n\n"No, I'm Death. And you have a lovely soul."\n\nNow Death's touching you in a way that definitely doesn't feel like it should be happening. "I could help you, you know, get out of that soul issue. Help you along the path to getting out of -"\n\n"Death. Off. It's weird man, and there's a program for you. SA, or whatever, although the fact that there's a Souls Anonymous implies that there are more of you. Go talk to your sponsor."\n\n"That's Lucy." Death doesn't seem too broken up about the fact that he's leaving.\n\n"Well, that's unfortunate. Now, scat, I got work to do."\n\n"Remember Peter, I have more people coming. At the drop of a hat."\n\n"Yes. Thank you, you're very devious. Now [[leave]]."
While it may look a lot like facebook, apparently the Internet doesn't work so well up here. Or electricity. Or anything else.\n\nApparently St. Peter is an asshole, according to <html><i>every other angel</i>.</html> Or maybe they're just jealous because Peter seems to be able to hang out with Jesus all the time - at least, that's what the one picture of them together seems to imply.\n\nClosing that down you can check out [[the list]] or go and [[stand around like an idiot]].
Looking at the natty old carpet leaves a lot to be desired. You're pretty sure there's old gum wadded in the corner of one stair.\n\nYou're definitely sure there's a bunch of joint wraps hidden (poorly) beside the bottom step. Someone obviously hates their job.\n\n<html><img src="http://www.thegateseries.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/potbag.jpeg" height=""></html>\n\nThat said, looking up... that makes up for it. That bright light at the end of the hallway, well... there's something kind of awesomely...entrancing about it -\n\nThe pull on your arm comes out of nowhere. Spinning around you see a regular joe type sneaking around, grabbing his papers.\n\n"Oh, you gotta talk to Pete before you can go in there. C'mon, this is some pretty killer weed. Found it in Elysium all by myself, need someone to test it out with. I'm Jesus, by the way."\n\nThe guy, with the weirdly growing crown of...ivy is that? Offers you a [[toke]]. You could always say [[no to drugs]], but it's Heaven. When do you think you'll get Heaven weed again?\n
Looking through the cushions, annoyingly, gives you nothing.\n\nPurgatory, apparently, is not a good place to find random crap lying around.\n\nYou can, however, check out the [[podium]] or the [[staircase]]. \n\nYou also notice a TV in the corner. Right now it only seems to be showing a rather bland beige. You can, if you want, catch up on your [[stories]].
"Oh a little of this, a little mutilating of that. It's fairly simple really. You sign this piece of paper and go on to Hell, and in a few millennia you get to move up the ungodly hoard a little. And I, in turn, get all the souls you bring in. It's good for both of us."\n\n"Or... I could just go back through the [[doorway]]."\n\n"Yeah, but Peter's an old stick in the mud. He won't let you do anything fun like accosting the cherubs. Oh! Or even pinning the tail on an unsuspecting angel. That's fun!"\n\nRealizing she's going to babble on about pranking angels for a while, you take a moment to recoup. After all, signing on the doted line seems a straight pitch to Hell. She thrusts the contract at you.\n\n<html><img src="http://www.thegateseries.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/constitution-62946_640.jpg" width="280" height="320"></html>\n\n"Or, you know, you can always try talking to Peter, but you've done sooooo many terrible things anyways, you'd just end up coming my way. And then I couldn't give you a deal."\n\nWell, if she puts it that way.\n\nYou sigh, and [[sign Hell's contract]]. Still, you're pretty spry. That [[doorway]] isn't so far. You could run for it.
"So you're not smart. Good to know. That helps."\n\nOn to [[test 2]].
The podium seems to be mostly floating when you check it out. On top of the podium is an outdated little monitor that seems to look official. Or at least, it's trying to.\n\nOnce you press the on button you see two options.\n\nOne simply says [[the list]], and the other is an app that seems to be called [[heavenbook]].\n\nAdditionally you can [[stand around like an idiot]] or check out the [[staircase]] with a light at the end, another [[door]] or the [[couch]].
"An atheist? Really. I'm standing right in front of you and nothing?"\n\nYou shrug. It's the principle really. Not the facts, per se. "They're just beliefs, man, no hard feelings."\n\nPeter shrugs. "Okay. Way easier on me. You can hang out here. I heard Socrates was down the way a bit. He gets lost sometimes."\n\nJesus wanders in, takes in a toke, and sits for a bit. And you're not in a hurry, so why not take in the sights.\n\n<html><iframe frameborder="0" width="480" height="270" src="http://www.dailymotion.com/embed/video/xv2p1v?logo=on&hideInfos=1"></iframe></html>\n\nThankfully, you've got time to check the rest of purgatory out. You're going to be here for a while, <html><a href="http://www.thegateseries.com">after all.</a></html>
Peter pulls out his tiny laptop, clicks a few buttons.\n\nFinally looks at you, pointedly. \n\n"Well, out with it." All of his looks are getting on your nerves. \n\nPeter grins. "What does a 225 pound butcher weigh?"\n\nWell, obviously [[225 pounds]].\n\nWait, a second, he weighs...[[meat]].\n\n
Peter hands you a sword, and takes one himself.\n\n"Right. Dueling stance. Get ready."\n\nYou look at the sword confused. "Look, man, I'm really [[sorry]] but I don't know how to use this."\n\nA group of swords is on the wall. You look at them, a little anxious.\n\n<html><img src="http://www.thegateseries.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/swords-84097_640.jpg" width="240" height="320"></html>\n\n"Well, but how sorry are you? Or do you just feel kind of sorry. Like maybe you should have learned how to sword fight in case St. Peter challenged you to a duel? Like, that kind of sorry isn't all that great. You want a cheesus?" Jesus' rambling answer is finally punctuated by a cross shaped orange glob. Powder stains his hand. The bag says "It's like Christulicious". Leaving you even more confused.\n\nYou shake your head no.\n\nSt. Peter puts down the sword. "Yeah, if you're [[not sorry]] it's okay, too."
<html><a href="http://www.thegateseries.com/">The Gate</a></html>
Jesus hands you a wad of cash, "That's not, for the record, actually worth anything here. Also, you're not a nice person."\n\n<html><img src="http://www.thegateseries.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/money-95794_640.jpg" width="220" height="320"></html>\n\nPeter shakes his head. "Well, we know how your grandmother actually died. Thrown right under the bus and into a crappy nursing home. Humans these days."\n\n"Hey, we treated her well. Sort of."\n\n"Sure you did. When she came up here, she had some words. Well, I guess this is the [[final test]]."
There are people who may question your dedication to your art, but...\n\nYou know what, you stand like a pro. If people gave awards for standing, you'd get one. It'd probably have gold on it, and a dude standing on top.\n\nWhich would only really be useful if you were still alive. Thankfully you're dead. You can do this for a while.\n\nThat said, you won't get an award.\n\nThe one thing that does cross your mind is that there's probably a reason Heaven is a shitty place to work. And other than the smell, it's the fact that it's been at least like two heaven days and not only haven't you seen anyone, but there's pretty much nothing to do.\n\nExcept for the TV, which seems to be only playing Angels singing. On rotation. Breaking up the monotony is a terrible soap opera, which also includes the angels singing.\n\nThe room has a [[podium]]. A [[staircase]] with a light at the end, another [[door]] and a [[couch]]. \n\nOr you can catch up on your [[stories]].\n
"Hey. You. Lost soul. You look like you need a place to live. What about my home? It's got a lot of fire and brimstone, but a great 401k. It's killer."\n\nThe woman in front of you doesn't look like the incarnation of pure evil, but something about the way she's put her hand out implies that she may not be as nice as she seems. Especially since she currently seems to be glowing red.\n\n<html><img src="http://www.thegateseries.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/nodevil.jpg" width="320" height="240"></html>\n\nThat said, she is offering something that might work out in the long term.\n\n"What kind of [[job offer]]?" You ask, nervously. Her grin is a little more on the toothy and terrifying side than you might like.\n\nConversely, you can just go and open the [[doorway]].\n
"Ah, good, someone who isn't a moron. It's been a while since that's happened."\n\nOn to [[test 2]].
"Now...what's your name?"\n\nPeter idly flips through a book. You catch a glimpse of it, but you realize that neither he, nor you, really want to look at it. It's more a prop that he's playing with.\n\n<html><img src="http://www.thegateseries.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/bible-53753_640.jpg" width="320" height="240"></html>\n\n"Look, kid, I haven't got all day. The afterlife ticks along. And purgatory is a slave to no one. Especially not me."\n\nYou can [[lie]], or, you know, just tell him your [[real name]]. Conversely, you could just claim to be an [[atheist]].
You take a look at the report and see a bunch of singe marks, a few happy faces, and peanut butter stains.\n\n"This is private, okay? Like, it's hard enough having all of you people coming in here all the time and now you have to see my evaluation, too? I should just send you on straight to Lucy!"\n\nA moment passes and finally he sighs.\n\n"Argh, you're not worth eternal damnation. But I miss when I could smite souls. Now, what's your [[name]]?"
Death grins, happily, when you agree. \n\nAnd then rubs his hand along your should leaving a trail of sparkles.\n\nWeird, that, of course, your soul would turn to sparkles.\n\nBut in moments it doesn't really matter.\n\nBecause all you look like is this.\n\n<html><iframe frameborder="0" width="480" height="270" src="http://www.dailymotion.com/embed/video/x111zzq?logo=on&hideInfos=1"></iframe></html>\n\nWhich mostly means you<html><a href="http://www.thegateseries.com"> shouldn't trust strangers.</a></html>\n\n
Pugs, not drugs man. C'mon, don't you know anything?\n\n<html><img src="http://www.thegateseries.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/dog-123721_640.jpg" width="320" height="240"></html>\n\nThe room has a [[podium]]. The [[staircase]] with a light at the end showed some promise, oh and the weird smelling [[couch]].\n\nOf course, you can always say yes to drugs and take a [[toke]] and see where it leads you.\n\nDrugs in Heaven obviously won't be any weirder than on earth. Right?\n\n<html><iframe frameborder="0" width="480" height="270" src="http://www.dailymotion.com/embed/video/x111zzq?logo=on&hideInfos=1"></iframe></html>
\n"Sorry about that, kid." The dude in a tunic comes down from the hallway, hiding a form in his hands, [[evaluation]] and "Peter, Saint" stand stark at the top. A giant grade of "A+" is all over it in crayon. \n\n"You have no idea how hard it is to get rid of Death sometimes." He says, a little anxiously. "Now, what's your [[name]]?" \n\nYou look at this new guy and shake your head. "Sorry, who are you?"\n\n"Peter. The Saint. You may know me as the Gatekeeper."\n\nYou, being a smartass, feel the need to remark on his badly folded toga. "For reference, you don't [[look like a saint]]."\n
You'd think, in the afterlife, things would be nicer. The doorway is pretty much the ugliest doorway you've ever seen.\n\nHaving touched the doorknob, though, you're pretty much set on going through.\n\nBut, having been through the door, you find yourself in the most boring office known to humankind. Purgatory, you might note, kind of sucks balls.\n\nAlso it smells like something distinctly disgusting.\n\nHowever, right at this second what it doesn't have is anyone around.\n\nThe room has a [[podium]]. A [[staircase]] with a light at the end, another hallway with a [[door]] and a [[couch]]. Or, if you want, you can [[stand around like an idiot]].\n\n\n
You settle in to watch the soap opera. The characters have no motivations, the story lines are arch, and everyone seems to be screwing everyone else.\n\nIt's a pretty standard soap opera. If it wasn't for the singing it might even be an okay soap opera.\n\n<html><iframe frameborder="0" width="480" height="270" src="http://www.dailymotion.com/embed/video/xv2p91?logo=on&hideInfos=1"></iframe></html>\n\nEventually, you get bored of the TV. The room has a [[podium]]. A [[staircase]] with a light at the end, another [[door]] and a [[couch]].
This stuff is fierce.\n\nAfter a while you chill out with Jesus and get to talking. Like matters of great importance. A man you eventually assume to be Peter, the very same Gatekeeper, comes over and sits down with the two of you. He doesn't partake, oddly.\n\nHe does, however, get pulled into the conversation.\n\n<html><iframe frameborder="0" width="480" height="270" src="http://www.dailymotion.com/embed/video/xv1js3?logo=on&hideInfos=1"></iframe></html>\n\nEventually, though, you get a bit of hard slap to the face.. "C'mon, get up. Wakey, wakey [[Mary Jane]]."\n
Well, it's not that Hell isn't a terrible place (it is), but Lucy's an alright sort, and every so often she lets you watch <html><a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xv2p1m_we-love-soaps-the-gate_fun">a few of your stories</html>, which only took about two decades to get to, so really it's all looking up.\n\nThankfully, you might get to go out in the world again soon to go and convert some souls. \n\nThankfully, Peter can help you out with finding a few bad eggs.\n\n<html><iframe frameborder="0" width="480" height="270" src="http://www.dailymotion.com/embed/video/xvv8ms?logo=on&hideInfos=1"></iframe></html>\n\nBut, if you need more <html><a href="http://www.thegateseries.com/">tips</a></html>, there's always more souls out there.
This is not the place you'd thought it would be.\n\nDante, it seems, wasn't right exactly. But then again, Dante wasn't wrong entirely, either.\n\nHell is kind of like getting out a cell phone contract. Forever. Bargaining is taken seriously in Hell. Everybody is always bargaining, all the time, for everything. It makes getting a bottle of water a seriously sweaty affair.\n\nThankfully, you've done well for yourself. Lucifer even said you could be a Lieutenant soon.\n\nIf you behave yourself. And find a few souls to bring out.\n\nYou take some time to follow Lucifer, and watch her in action. There is something to be said for watching the master herself.\n\n<html><iframe frameborder="0" width="480" height="270" src="http://www.dailymotion.com/embed/video/xxi5lm?logo=on&hideInfos=1"></iframe></html>\n\nThankfully there's always more <html><a hred="http://www.thegateseries.com/">lessons</a></html> to be learned.
The annoying thing about forever is that it doesn't ever end.\n\nYou watch other people go ahead of you. Short people. Tall people. Fat people. Skinny people. Confused people. A few dogs. A herd of cats.\n\nEventually, though, you get bored. \n\nWalking away from the door you end up finding a sign. Limbo, it might appear, likes to be transparent. \n\n<html><img src="http://www.thegateseries.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/heavenhell.jpg" width="320" height="243"></html>\n\nYou can still open the [[doorway]], or you could see if you can find anyone around here. Someone like the lovely [[lady]] over there. She beckons at you.